I’m just gonna start off by saying… I LOVE BEING MARRIED. Oh, what a gift the Lord has given me. A gift that I know all to well was hard to wait for (THE STRUGGLE WAS REAL) but SO worth the wait. I’m thinking about writing a post about that season of waiting… but I haven’t decided if I will yet. If you’d like to see that, let me know in the comments!
I can’t believe that two weeks ago, I was walking down the aisle to start my forever with my best friend. These weeks have honestly flown by, but they have been the best weeks of my life. With that being said, I want to share three things that I have learned as a newlywed! I might actually turn this into a series as I continue learning things during this first year. We’ll see! Let’s go!
1. I have an incredibly large amount of love for my husband.
I’m not saying I didn’t love him a lot before, but somehow, when we got married, something in my heart shifted. That shift caused my heart to be filled with even more love for him. I wasn’t even aware that this was a thing, but I love it. Each day, our love has been growing more and more. It helps me consider him more, love him better, become quick to forgive, and serve him well. It also makes the “you know what” a whole lot better, if ya know what I’m SAYIN’. Sorry NOT SORRY.
2. Talk it over before you make plans with your homies.
This has actually been an easy transition for us. It has been helpful for us to consult with one another before we make plans with our friends. Not in a “Can I have permission?” kind of way but in a “I respect you and want to let you know what I’m thinking in case you wanted to do something that evening” kind of way. It prevents any issues that could possibly arise if one of of wanted to have a certain evening to ourselves for that week.
3. Keep a positive amount in your love bank.
I learned this one at a date night we attended at The Crossing Church. This is about love languages and how you give and receive love. For example, my love languages are quality time, acts of service, and appropriate touch. My husband’s are quality time, touch, and words of affirmation. Unlike my husband, receiving words of affirmation is very low on my radar. If he were to give me a lot of words of affirmation, that would not be a deposit in my love bank. Obviously, those are great things, and I am thankful for them, but the love bank would not grow. Now, let’s say he went out of his way to wash the dishes so I didn’t have to or he puts his arm around me in public… KACHING KACHING BABY. Acts of service and appropriate touch, for the win. Put those coins in my love bank!!
When the love bank is kept at a positive amount, it’s helpful for when you DO mess up and have to make a withdrawal. The tricky part is that you can only deposit one coin at a time, but when you make withdrawals, it is a LOT more than one. Depending on what happened, it could be five, ten, or even more withdrawn. So you have to constantly be adding more and more so that you don’t risk getting to a place where bitterness can grow. This has already been so helpful in our relationship. It helps our love grow more and more as we discover how we can intentionally and personally love one another in the best way possible. AND it prevents the enemy from getting any kind of foothold in this area of our relationship.
Alright, that’s all for now! Toodles, my dudes!
<3
Cames
Steph
Loved reading this my friend!!!! So happy for you and Andrew and this new season!!!!!!!!!
cameswithlove
StephThanks so much, Stef!!! It’s been a crazy but exciting journey!!
Sam
This is really great!! You’re SOOO funny!! Marriage is a-m-a-z-i-n-g!! It’s even better when that person is your greatest friend!! I’m so happy for y’all and can’t wait to read even more about your beautiful relationship!!
cameswithlove
SamLOL, I try!!! That is so true!! It’s the best doing life with your favorite person! And Sam, you are so sweet!!! I hope you’re doing well! <3
Rachel Torres
Congratulations on your wedding and welcome to the married life!!! I love these lessons learned. Marriage is certainly a gift that takes effort and communcation. Wishing you both all the best! <3
cameswithlove
Rachel TorresThanks so much!! I appreciate your encouragement! You’re so right. Communication and intentionality is definitely key to a great marriage!
Erika Lancaster
Great tips! It’s so important to make an effort to keep our marriage healthy!
cameswithlove
Erika LancasterExactly! It’s worth it knowing that it will help you in the long run!
Colleen
What a sweet, honest post on marriage. I have been married 15 years and I still love it! Your section on the love bank is so important..never let life get in the way of love! Thank you.
cameswithlove
ColleenYou’re so welcome! And thank you for sharing! Congrats on 15 years! That’s a great accomplishment and encouragement!! <3